Book Early
There are some days when I'd love to be able to clone
myself - so many wonderful people, and only one me.
Celebrants and local wedding venues often have bookings up
to two years in advance. March and November are the most
popular months - and "everything wedding" will be heavily
booked around those times. You may like to think about
either a Friday evening or Sunday wedding.
Bridesmaids
A plea from a local dressmaker - when selecting your
bridesmaids do take into account how far they will have to
travel for fittings. You may like to purchase enough fabric
and patterns for all your bridesmaids and have each lady
have their own made. Please too, consider both
mothers, they may like to tone in with the bridal party, and
each be consulted about what the other is wearing.
Brides "men"
Yes, these days a Bride can have men as her attendants,
so too can the Groom have a "Best Woman".
Budget
This is important and may need to be discussed with all
contributing parties. Decide who is paying for what. It can
be helpful to decide early who is organising which aspects
of the wedding. Look under Checklist for a guide. If
your budget is really tight, you may like to contemplate a
late morning ceremony and a catered picnic lunch (local
guests could bring outdoor chairs and tables).
Ceremony
What would you like to share with your guests about your
relationship? What does your relationship mean to you? Is
the Bride going to be "given away"? Perhaps both of you
would like to be "given away" by your families? I really
want to help make your day as wonderful as possible, and
therefore will create and personalise your Ceremony just for
you.
Children
A wonderful addition to any wedding, but they do get tired
so you might like to time your ceremony around their sleep
patterns. There are many simple ways children can be
included, from flower girls and ring bearers to the
important job of holding the bouquet. If children are to be
included in the Ceremony, it is important to have a
rehearsal beforehand so they know what is expected of them.
One of the most important times for children is immediately
after the Ceremony. They can tend to feel left out of
things, so it's important to nominate an adult who they are
comfortable with, to take charge - of course telling them
how well they did.
Some couples hire a nanny or clown for the reception so
children can attend the formal part then adjourn to a
separate room for fun activities.
Confetti
A lot of wedding venues forbid the use of confetti because
of its environmental impact. Your guests may like to use
bubbles, dried rose petals or rosemary (a sign of fertility)
instead.
Decisions
Oh so many of these to be made and often, so many people
trying to make them. This can be really tricky sometimes,
after all, its your day. You may like to let the major
contributors take decisions in turns - sometimes the nest
way to nip conflict in the bud before it arrives.
Facials: If you are contemplating a facial, Beauty
Therapists suggest three days prior for your skin to look
it's best on the day. And if you don't already.. a few weeks
before the wedding add a lot of fresh fruit to your diet.
Your skin will glow health and vitality.
Gifts
This can be difficult for guests when couples have already
set up house. Some stores offer a Wedding Register service
whereby you leave a “Wish List” from which guests can select
a gift that also suits their budget. Alternatively you may
like Guests to donate to your favourite charity. One couple
had an early morning wedding , no gifts, and guests paid for
their own breakfast. There's often a family member or friend
who would really like to help out. A handy job for them
would be to get them to write what gift came from who on the
back of the card attached. That way all the cards can be
kept separate and you can thank each person for their
specific gift.Guests
If your guests are coming from out of town, along
with a local map, you may like to include points of
interest/restaurants etc in your area. Accommodation: Do you
have treasured relatives and/or friends who may need to
travel long distances for your special day? If so,
accommodation may be heavily booked at certain times of the
year. Budgets for guests will also factor into this, as at
peak season the rates will rise.
Guest Book
You may like to warn guests prior, so they can bring a
special poem or saying, photo or memory for your Guest Book.
With their invitation you could also mail them a blank
scrapbook page on which they can write their happy memories
of you.
An alternative to this, at the reception have a framed
canvas, on which guests can write a short message.
Guest Activities
Your photos can take up to two hours. What do you do for
your guests? You may like to think about some of the
following to keep them amused. Have them taught line
dancing/how to work a hula hoop, rent circus side shows
(coconut shies etc), hire a magician/ comedian/tarot
reader/puppet show, serve high tea, have a wine tasting.
"Hen Party" or Stag Night
Much as these events may
be fun for the participants, you may like to think about
holding these events 2 or 3 weeks prior to the wedding.
Legally a Celebrant cannot perform the wedding ceremony if
one of the couple is "under the influence" of anything other
than love!
Helpful relatives and friends
There are many areas where those wishing to help can be a
great asset. From someone with great handwriting doing the
place-cards to that very organised friend writing/typing out
envelopes for the thank you cards, there are a myriad of
jobs available.
Honeymoon
Book your honeymoon early - you may need to get Visas,
etc.
Invitations
Invitations are generally sent out two months prior to
the day, earlier if the wedding is to be held during a
popular holiday time. Please include your "Plan B" option in
case of rain, with a couple of mobile numbers (helpful
friends) guests can contact on the day.
Lateness
Not fun for the Groom nor the Guests. The number of times
I've heard someone say "Oh its the Bride's prerogative to be
late"...this in 38 degree heat with a lot of the men
sweltering in their suits. Often this is not the fault of
the Bride/Groom/ etc. Emergencies (hairdresser's power going
out, photographer's car not starting etc) can sure happen on
the day so book your appointments early.
Marriage
Food for thought, so many couples say after the wedding
"If only we'd stressed less about the wedding and focused
more on our marriage". A pre marriage class or counselling
can be invaluable and a great distraction to the myriad of
details needing attention for the wedding.
Music
Please - if you're having a live band or singer for your
Processional/ walking in music, let your guests and
Celebrant know if they are going to play the entire song.
Photos
Ah, that wonderful creative photographer! All too often
they get carried away with taking that perfect
shot....meanwhile, back at the venue your groom, guests and
Celebrant are melting. Being over 10 minutes late is not
fair and not an option.
Some couples create a website on which they will put
photos for their guests to view. There are also sites like
www.ringo.com where
you can post your photos so families and friends can also
view them.
Lighting
If having an afternoon wedding, you may like to think
about getting some of your photos taken before the Ceremony.
This can save a lot of waiting time for your guests, and
allow time before daylight disappears. Do check with your
photographer before scheduling.
Plan B
Important, important ..and did I mention important!
No-one wants you and your guests to get drenched. As
mentioned under "Invitations" helpful friends with mobiles
can be invaluable to redirect guests to an alternative venue
if you get rained out. If the weather looks doubtful and you
are having chairs for your guests, a supply of old towels
can also be handy to wipe the rain off the seating.
Seating Plan for the reception
Ask me to email you information on this. It was too large
a file to put in here but contains some handy information.
Style
Would you both like a formal or relaxed style of wedding?
What reflects your personalities? Your guests will
appreciate knowing the style, formal or casual.
Thank You to your Guests
Australia Post offer a service whereby they will do a
special (legal) postage stamp featuring one of your wedding
photos. Ph 131318
http://pstamps.auspost.com.au/index_wf.html
Themes
Some couples have theme weddings, i.e. Star Trek, Rock
and Roll, or everyone wearing the same colour. Another
different idea is to hold the wedding at a place of special
significance, e.g. the school where you met, the park where
the proposal took place.
You could even have a "This is your Life" theme, where
guests bring something significant representing their
connection with you. Alternatively, if you are like a lot of
couples who want a casual event, you may like to have a
Barbeque reception.
Timing
To contemplate - Do you have many older guests or
children in your bridal party or as guests? If so, you may
like to opt for an earlier ceremony so they won't get too
tired. Many couples are now opting for Friday or Sunday
weddings. Another alternative is to split your day. Have a
special breakfast (or lunch) with older family members then
hold your ceremony late morning (or afternoon). Lunch (or
dinner) can then be held with friends and work colleagues.
Venue
If your wedding is outdoors, you may like to actually go
there at the same time of the day that the wedding is
scheduled. Are your guests going to be in full sun or shade?
How much passing traffic noise is there? Are there any local
churches which may have bell ringing practise? Bookings can
be heavy at popular wedding venues - check out the
availability early if you have a favourite.
Should you wish to marry in a public place you will need
both the permission of Council, (or other Government
department), and often a booking. If outdoors, you will need
a contingency plan in case of bad weather.
Once a venue is booked, it can help save arguments later
if you get quotes and confirmations in writing. Use the
expertise of the Venue Staff - they have years of
experience.
Wills
(From a legal eagle). Marriage revokes existing wills,
unless they were made specifically in contemplations of the
marriage. If either of the couple should die suddenly
without having made a new will, the estate would go
according to the laws of intestacy, which is not always what
the person would have wanted. With so many second marriages
and split families these days, new wills are essential.
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago
that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would
supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead
is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based,
this period was called the honey month .. which we know
today as the honeymoon.
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